black apple

thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

It's good. I like it, although there isn't much reason in it. Maybe change the bit about the cancer stick. You may be trying to get a point across but ...

that was..vivid.

I would use capitals at all times when nessesary. It makes it less confusing imo. Other than that, the imagery is quite rich and it's not difficult to understand so...I ...

not to bad. good imagery. I can't find too much wrong with it, so good job :p